"You need more originality."
"Stick to the melody"
"That song is too big for you"
"That was just a boring song"
"Boo hoo, boo hoo, waaaaa"
"It was a little pitchy for me dog"
"You had some pitchyness in the middle"
"It wasn't good"
"It wasn't that bad"
"Be more you"
"So check it out - Dat was hot"
That's right, I am going to talk about American Idol, best described as a survey of musical preference or personality preference of a specific demographic that would watch a show and, tone deaf or not, decide that their opinion matters enough to dial a phone over and over and over again.
That said, I must admit that by the end of the season, I get so fed up with the judges comments that I end up fitting that demographic. So, since the judges always give so much useless, annoying, and unhelpful comments, I thought that I would give my own, most likely, useless, annoying, and unhelpful comments. To make it even more fun, I am not going to tell you who I am describing, just that the following is the ranking, 1 being my favorite and 11 and 12 being the ones I think should go home next (if you really want to know, click on the links next to each useless comment).
1. I like your variety and beat beat chickita chickita puh puh wigita wigita. Want to know
2. You at least seem humble and put a lot of emotion in your songs. My wife really likes you and that makes me happy. Sing it, yo
3. You're just so smiley and happy it makes me want to root for you. Come on dog, click here
4. You remind me of a teddy bear and you keep acknowledging the judges comments like they have a clue. Click me
5. You are different then the others in the competition and that is good. Click it or ticket
6. Diva Diva Diva change it up just a bit. It was cool at first, but it is getting old. Click
7. You pick the wrong songs, but I think you sound good. What you doing clicking here
8. You seem to be only a representation of a certain type of singer. Huh
9. You are growing on me. I like you better when you forget your words. Cluck
10. You look kinda funny. I liked your story at the beginning, but now you are just odd. Quack
11. Sweet voice, but look a bit more like a man and sing something louder than supper soft. moo
12. Shake your back and forth, turn your head to the right, back to the front, shake, right, front, shake, right, front. Ribbit
What do you think? Who's leaving, who's most likely the favorite of the demographic that will actually vote?
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2 comments:
I can't believe I read every comment and clicked on every link to see who the person was. It wasn't good. I really think this whole idol thing is too big for you. I would like to see more originality, you know, be more you. I definately detected extreme bad pitchyness from this whole idea of a blog topic. If you could see me now, the way I am clapping would be sickening. I really hope you're not back next week, but you ARE kind of cute so stranger things have happened.
Good post!
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